Chapter... uh...hell, I don't know: It's a dark and stormy night...

I've never played an RPG with the human equivalent of little troll people, but I'm starting to think I am in a big 3-D version of Dungeons and Dorkheads, I thought, as I blindly follow three or four people that normally I would only see when, god forbid, my Mac has gone awry. I'm always thankful that my Mac has a problem every 600 years.

"The KEY is your Mac," said Dex, as he dug in his pocket I assume and pray is for some Tic Tacs or a hanky, and not for some one on one kind of entertainment. "Or rather, Macs in general..."

"Because Macs are super impervious to viruses and hacking?" I said proudly, like the big MacMac I am.

A cacophony of teeheeing came from the throng of toadies leading me ever deeper into the maze of tunnels.

"Nooooo." snickered Dex. "YOU NAIVE FOOL..."

"Well, you smell like Clearasil..." I snorted.

"I meaaannnnn..." Dex backpedaled so fast I figured he'd fall out of his shorts. "...all computers are vulnerable to evil.... to hacking, to viruses, to malicious code..."

"I need to pee..." I said.

"there is no safe operating system, there really is no safe network...."

"I'm hungry, too..." I said...

"unless you have a computer that is not on a network, not on the internet, and not accessible to strangers, you are not safe. Most of all, the worst enemy a computer user has to defend against is themselves.... clicking on strange attachments in email, installing questionable software..."

"Not me, by gum, I'm a RESPONSIBLE and AWARE pooter owner..." I said proudly, forgetting about the files that currently reside on my hard drive that caused the coffee shop kerfuffle. "oh....nevermind..."

"Ah, well, that plays RIGHT into the PLANS of the Imperial Federation for World Domination... that is part of there insidious plot to enslave the civilized population. And we, the rebel alliance, sworn to uphold the light and fight the darkness, our noble fellowship will protect..."

"Okay, can you just beat me unconscious now..." I said.

"...PROTECT the unwary layman..." asserted Dex.

"Heh heh heh, you said layman..." I know. I also tease the monkeys at the zoo, too.

"AGAINST THE BLACKNESS that will engulf and swallow whole the world.... and YOU will help us." bellowed Dex, who was getting irritated.

"How can I help you? I'm just a delicate flower with a sensitive constitution... and I need to potty."

"You and your Mac are our last hope...."

"Hep me Obi Wan...." I giggled. Dex shot me the angry nerd look. Or possibly he may have farted. Either one. I bowed my head, and straightened up. "Oh, all right. I'm kidding. Really. Shoot, I'll help I guess. Whaddja want me to do..."

"EXCELLENT.... now, the real work begins."

Chapter Nine: ***crickets chirping*** (GONE TO MACWORLD... might even come back)